NFL Truths…. The Way I See

With the 2008 NFL Season over and the playoffs starting, I figured… why not start my new blog off right. Comment on thoughts of each team from this season, just like everyone else will do at this time. The difference between my thoughts and others? Nothing really… Other than the fact that I think I entertain myself pretty well, so why not share the wealth with others who probably could care less but want to say how much my opinion sucks!

Anyway, on with my observation of this fabulous 2008 NFL.
Disclaimer: If you don’t like what I said about your team… too bad Ha Ha Ha!!!!

One Thing To Say About Each Team

Atlanta Falcons- Wow! A years after the debacle in the A, the Falcons, with the help of coach Mike Smith, QB Matt Ryan, and RB Michael Turner, look like a playoff contender. Whodathunkit???

Carolina Panthers- My underdog team to root for (other than my own team) for the postseason. Steve Smith is a beast, and their running backs Williams and Stewart aren’t too bad either

Tampa Bay Bucs- So Monte Kiffin leaves and your defense becomes flat as a 4 day old Pepsi? Pathetic

New Orleans Saints- Three words: Get A Defense! Brees puts up 40 points, but then their D gives up 41. Help a QB out!

New England Patriots- Good job showing resiliency, but too little too late. Matt Cassel, what a great job you did. But you, my friend, are no Tom Brady.

Miami Dolphins- Bill Parcells is THE Football god. You heard it here first!

Buffalo Bills- What the hell happened to you?? A great start with a sour, sloppy finish??? I think this team still has Super Bowl Loser jet lag from the 4 straight losses in the 90’s. Nothing has gone their way since then (See Music City Miracle for confirmation)

New York Jets- Shame on you! Dumping Chad and his water pistol arm for gun slinging Brett. Oh yeah, Chad says thanks for putting him out of his misery and allowing him to go from cold, windy, snowy New York to warm, sunny, sunbathing Florida, were his team actually appreciates him. *snicker*

Baltimore Ravens- This is what happens when you have an owner that has the balls to make a very hard decision and fire his head coach because he sensed he could do better. Well, he has and they haven’t missed a beat. Brian who?? PS- Let’s go Flacco!!

Cleveland Browns- You suck. I know, harsh words, but it’s true. Sorry, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But admitting it is the first step… And No, Bill Cowher will not be your head coach for 2009, so stop asking him


Cincinnati Bengals- You showed heart the last few weeks of the season. Although the head coach doesn’t really have a say in what goes on over there, and you cut valuable players that would’ve helped you this season (i.e. Willie Anderson, Rudi Johnson), and your starting QB hasn’t played for majority of the the season, you’re probably still better off than the Browns.

Pittsburgh Steelers- You look like the Baltimore Ravens of 2000. Great defense, inept offense with a good runni…..wait! Your running game is sub par too. But you do have a clutch winner with Big Ben. The reason why I mention this comparison (to which yellow-and-black fans should LOVE)…. because you may get a 6th ring this year. Plus, the football gods love you. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good


New York Giants- I smell a repeat coming. But then again, I was piss poor all year with my office pools, so what do I know???

Philadelphia Eagles- Make up your mind. Are you hot or cold. You lose to Washington 10-3 in Week 16, but then you beat the Cowboys like they slapped your mama in Week 17, 44-6. This team is bi polar and I hope the “happy” team shows up in the playoffs

Dallas Cowboys- Remember the sign a Brownie fan put up when Terrell Owens was with Philly and came to Cleveland?? It said, “T.O. Has B.O.” This sooooo applies to the current situation in Irving. It stinks! Fix it!
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Washington Redskins- Note to Dan Snyder, “STOP INVESTING IN PAST-THEIR-PRIME PLAYERS IN FREE AGENCY/TRADE AND FIX YOUR OFFENSIVE AND DEFENSIVE LINES” Some folks need to learn that winning NFL champions doesn’t happen if you buy the team. You build through the draft. This isn’t the MLB. If it were, you’d have half as many rings as the Yankees have by now. But it’s not… and you don’t….
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Indianapolis Colts- As a Ravens fan, I just want to say… I never want to see Peyton manning again! Please and thank you

Tennessee Titans- OOOOOOO, you better watch out. Yellow-and-black is gonna get you, because you stomped on those Terrible Towels (which, if it makes any of you yellow-and-black fans feel better, it was NOT the Myron Cope Terrible Towel that goes to charity)! That whole situation is funny to me. And I can’t say I don’t understand why Tennessee did it. It was there house, they dominated and they were unhappy about other folks being in their house. If these 2 teams play each other in the AFC Championship, it will be great theater to see what happens.

Jacksonville Jaguars- Better luck next year. With a few additions here and there, I believe this team can be back to playoff status next year.

Houston Texans- 16-16 in 2 seasons means you’re almost there, but something is still missing. I think, whatever needs to come in place, will happen within the next 2 years, either in the draft or free agency.

Chiacgo Bears- How do you lose to the Texans with the playoffs on the line??? Wow!

Green Bay Packers- Oh trust me. It wasn’t because you let Brett go that you suck. Your defense can’t stop anybody, is why. I will not allow anyone to blame Aaron Rodgers for mediocrity. And why is Charles Woodson a safety now???

Minnesota Vikings- Adrian Peterson. Nothing or no one else comes to mind when I think of this team. Oh and Jared Allen dishing it but can’t take it (those low blows to the knees).


Detroit Lions- I’m sad for you. This one is way too easy to crack jokes. But nothing’s funny. I’d probably cry home to my momma if I didn’t get one answer right on my driver’s license test, or anything I do for that matter. Like Tupac says, keep ya head up!

San Diego Chargers- Philip Rivers is carrying you. That’s right, not LT, but Rivers. It’s nice that you guys are trying to get over the Norv Turner curse (see Washington Redskins for reference). And I hope you break it. When does Merriman come back again??? Oh and I love this Rivers-Cutler rivalry going on! Great for TV

Denver Broncos- Poor Shanahan got the fall for such a disappointing team. The Broncos have a whiny QB and a defense that can’t stop my son’s little league team (and trust me, I’m confident that there’s one little boy they couldn’t stop, no joking around). Get some D!

Oakland Raiders- Al Davis must be rolling around his grave knowing what’s goi….. Wait, Al’s still with us? Then why the hell is this team so bad for so long? Wait happened to “Just Win, Baby!!”??? What a bunch of crap we’ve been sold. I feel the same feeling I felt when my childhood friend told me Santa was a lie. I feel lied to……

Kansas City Chiefs- Poor Herm. I hope he keeps his job, at least to get once more chance at redemption. Who knew that Tyler Thigpen could be a serviceable QB for the Chiefs earlier this season? It may have brought in another win or two

Arizona Cardinals- Worse playoff I ever remember seeing.. Even with Warner, Fitzgerald and Bouldin.

St Louis Rams- You suck. Even with Steven Jackson

Seattle Seahawks- You suck. Even with Mike Holmgren. Oops! That’s out the door, now, isn’t it. You just suck, I guess….

San Francisco 49ers- You did suck, but once you fired Nolan and had Singletary take over the team, you improved vastly. There is hope for the NFC West after all.


Game Balls of the Year- Miami Dolphins, Atlanta Falcons, and Baltimore Ravens organizations. Going from one of the worst teams in ’07 to true playoff contenders in ’08. Picking up key off season acquisitions, but none of them flashy or expensive, to help rebuild. Not even knowing this would be the furthest thing from being a “rebuilding” year

Peyton Manning- Because you are truly awesome. Even with a bum knee and a back-to-sub par defense, you still find ways to win games

Bill Belichick- I know a lot of people think of Spygate with him. But after Brady went down, I said they were done. He’s a football genius. Bill Parcells taught him well

Shame Balls of the Year- Jerry Jones and “America’s Team”– I’m sorry, but can we take this self proclaimed title away until this team wins a playoff game??? Seriously. I could think of a few teams that earned the right to be called “America’s Team”, and they aren’t it.

Plaxico Burress aka Harris Smith aka Plexiglass IF YOU HAVE TO CARRY A GUN TO THE PARTY YOU’RE GOING TO… THEN THAT PARTY MAY NOT BE THE PLACE FOR YOU!!! That was free of charge Plax… I’m charging you next time


Mangini and the Jets- Karma is something, and I believe that. The very guy you cut, is the same guy that knocked you out of the playoffs and Eric Mangini to lose his job (well, you can make a strong case that Brett is why Mangini is gone, but this is debatable however you look at it). This is better than Any Given Sunday, except this was real life. How cool is that?!

Denver Broncos- You would’ve clinched the division 3 weeks ago. But because your defense can’t stop apretty much no one, you lost, in blowout fashion, to your arch rivals, the San Diego Chargers. You lost the division AND a spot out of the playoff. I’d hate being a Broncos fan right now.

Detroit Lions- [insert comment here…….]
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Thanks for coming to play boys and girls. I promise I’ll be back with more thoughts and arm chair analysis

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