It’s amazing how time flies. We’re already beginning the 2nd half of our beloved NFL season,  So of course, it’s time to see how your favorite team fared midway through the 2011 season. Only, instead of giving actual grades, I’m breaking them up in categories. Same analysis as ESPN, but better because it’s not so formal. So without further ado…. the midseason report cards.

F*ck It, I’m On One!: Green Bay Packers

The Packers deserve a column of their own. As far as NFL class goes, there’s the Packers and then there’s everyone else. No one is touching them right now and to be honest, I don’t know who will. Aaron Rodgers is playing like he’s possessed right about now. I like Green Bay but the little hater in me says they need to sit their bragging asses down somewhere. No reason why I feel that way, I’m just a little green and tired of seeing them win.

They Are Who We Thought They Were:  Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots

The Steelers started out old and slow, but they’ve finally got the ball rolling. They’ve been on fire the past few weeks, and have picked up from last season, thanks to the emergence of guys like Mike Wallace and Emmanuel Sanders. The Patriots make this list because they’re still a team of concern if they’re on your schedule, but they can’t stop a nose bleed (Bart Scott voice) so unless they figure out to stop good teams, they may be in trouble….

Well I’ll Be John Brown (c/o @DragonflyJonez): Cincinnati Bengals, San Francisco 49ers, Detroit Lions, Buffalo Bills

I dedicate this category to my Twitter buddy, who always uses this term at the right time and better than anybody I know. Most of us looked at contenders for 2011 and didn’t think about any of these teams, for a lot of reasons. New players, lockout hangover, inconsistent or not good in years past…. for whatever reason, unless you were a fan of these teams, they simply weren’t on your radar. Well I’ll be John Brown if they aren’t now. The Bengals are 5-2 with a Top 5 defense and have shown success with Andy Dalton and AJ Green. The 49ers changed their coaching staff and brought in Jim Harbaugh and have only lost one game so far, even giving Alex Smith some life. And the Bills, who had every bounce against them in 2010 despite playing hard, are finally getting the ball in their court. The Lions are probably the least bit shocking, since they finished 2010 strong. But it’s the Lions…. you still haven’t forgotten about 0-16 and Matt Stafford gets hurt if you blow on him hard enough. Alas, no bad karma and all teams are doing big things

They’re Good, BUT……..: Baltimore Ravens, New York Giants, San Diego Chargers, Houston Texans, New York Jets, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Atlanta Falcons 

These teams have a winning record so they’re good based on record but we really have no idea what to expect for the 2nd half of the season. The Ravens have beaten quality opponents in Pittsburgh, Houston and the Jets, but have crapped the pot against teams they should have beaten in Tennessee and Jacksonville…… The Giants are decent, but their schedule the next 6 weeks is beyond brutal and one has to wonder will the injuries they have finally start to catch up….. The Chargers are actually starting out with a winning record for once, but QB Philip Rivers (my boo!) hasn’t looked like the Rivers of old, and fumbled control of the AFC West away last Monday night……. The Texans are good, but losing Mario Williams for the year and Andre Johnson for some time may hurt them in the long run…..The Jets have seemed to regress a little on defense, and Mark Sanchez not getting much help from his run game is an issue…..The Saints WERE in my “They are who we thought they were” column, but they lost to the Rams, The WINLESS ST. LOUIS RAMS, WITHOUT SAM BRADFORD! Yeah, they go down a notch after that one….. The Bucs have youth on their side, but their lopsided loss to San Francisco puts them in this category….. Atlanta always leaves me scratching my head at the end of their games. With all of the offensive weapons they have, I don’t see how they don’t put up 30 points easily, each week. They have some inexperience on defense that holds them to this category.

Ehhhhh……………..: Chicago Bears, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, Carolina Panthers, Tennessee Titans

It’s not that I don’t think these teams are good or can’t be good… it’s just that I couldn’t add them in the “They’re good but” category because they’ve done something not worthy of that category. The Bears’ offensive line blocks like Cutler stole their girl……The Eagles started out slow, and with the “Dream Team” talk prior to the season, expectations were above normal so their 3-4 record is underachieving at best… The Cowboys need a TV time out with the way they’ve played football lately. I thought they’d be better than this at this point. I haven;t totally written them off, tho. They have talent….. The Chiefs started off rough (remember Matt Cassel’s blow up with HC Todd Haley on the sidelines??), but they’ve rebounded well. It’s the AFC West so it’s hard to be impressed just yet…..The Raiders looked like they were gonna have a good season before Jason Campbell went down. Oakland traded their 2012 #1 pick and a conditional pick to Cincy for Carson Palmer, but all Palmer did was stink it up in his debut. He’s not the same QB he was before 2005 and quite frankly, I wonder if Al Davis came back from the dead to make one last WTF personnel decision… Despite Carolina’s record, I’m gonna put them in this column because I seriously believe they try hard each and every week, yet fall short. This team reminds me a lot of Buffalo’s team last season. They hang in there, but can’t get the “W” in the end. I can’t be mad at that. They should be added in my next group but I love their resilience. The Titans are here by default, because they have a good record. But Chris Johnson got paid and told the Titans, “Fcuk your couch”. He’s still holding out but we didn’t know until now. With Kenny Britt going down, that hurt big time for Tennessee. Good thing is, the AFC South could be a 2-man race, and they’re still in it.

“Insert Comment Here”: Cleveland Browns, Seattle Seahawks, Jacksonville Jaguars, Minnesota Vikings, Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins

Face it- these teams’ style of play are boring and uninspiring more times than not (minus the Vikings the past 2 weeks. But that’s because Ponder now has the keys). Put yourself in my shoes…. What could you possibly say about any of these teams individually that doesn’t sound like the others in this group? Can’t figure it out? Me neither. So feel free to insert your own comment here.

Bad…. Real Bad Michael Jackson: Indianapolis Colts, St. Louis Rams, Miami Dolphins, Denver Broncos

I guess this group could be called the “Suck For Luck” lottery, but that’s unoriginal and overused at this point. These 4 teams stink and I’d bet my money on LSU or Alabama if they played any of these teams at this point. Probably the worst team of them all is Indy. Never have I seen a franchise fall so fast from one key player going down. That’s a direct reflection of the GM and ownership and it’s inexcusable. The Rams have some good pieces and aren’t AS bad as Indy (not saying much), but their defense isn’t that good, particularly their secondary (although they did hold NO to one offensive TD in Sunday’s win) and there isn’t a true #1 WR on the team. The Dolphins need a new makeover, period. Not only did you celebrate the FLORIDA GATORS championship in MIAMI HURRICANES-land, you let Tim Tebow beat you in the Final 5 minutes of the same game. Yeah, you suck, Miami…….. Speaking of Tebow, he is getting KILT in the media (yeah, I said it… not killed, but KILT!) on what most of us already knew: Great college player, lots of heart and passion, not going to translate into the NFL. It’s been a while since I’ve seen so much attention lay on one guy like this. Denver officially came into the Top 5 pick race as of Sunday.

Yesterday’s game was overwhelming for me for so many reasons. We recognized the 10th anniversary of September 11th which was extremely patriotic, as the fans chanted, “USA” often. It was opening day from a LOOOOOOOOONG offseason full of lockout talk and off-the-field drama. And it was against the Ravens most bitter rival in the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Going into this game, I admit I had my doubts. The offensive line hadn’t played fully this preseason and the defense was pretty slow in that same span. But the Ravens were tired of all of the trash talk and mental edge the Steelers had over them, and it showed. Not only did the Ravens come out to play, they came out with a plan to show them how serious they were on the disrespect. All of the offseason changes they made paid off, at least for Week 1. They beat the Steelers like they stole something. Final score Ravens 35, Steelers 7.

The best part about yesterday’s game was how happy my son was. He was celebrating a milestone birthday (don’t ask!) And going to the game was a birthday gift. When he said that he had the best birthday ever, I knew yesterday was special. That’s what football does, especially after a win like that. His happiness means the world to me, and we have the Ravens to thank.

OT: I’ve said this over and over like a broken record, but I’ll say it one last time. Joe Flacco is a GOOD quarterback. Is he a great one? Nope. He still has some things he can change to better his game. But he’s efficient.. efficient enough to win football games for the Baltimore Ravens.

I don’t think there’s a question on who’s better between Flacco and Roethlisberger. Big Ben is a 2-time Super Bowl winning QB who knows how to make plays when he needs to. But yesterday, Joe Cool was the better guy. And while he’ll have struggles this season, he’s growing and maturing. I like it and I believe this is the start of finally getting the respect he’s long overdue for.

Double OT: “God can have his soul, but his ass belongs to me”- Terrell Suggs on Ben Roethlisberger after his 3-sack performance. Best quote I’ve ever heard!

The Colts are bad… real bad, Michael Jackson (hell, add the rest of the Jacksons too!). We knew the Colts would struggle without Peyton Manning, but if yesterday is what’s to come for the Colts without Pey-Pey, this is gonna get ugly QUICK! It kind of amazes me how the franchise had put so much stock into one guy with no insurance policy. The Irsays should learn from this.

On Saturday, I was on a local TV show talking football and one of the topics we discussed were injuries. I predicted that this season we would see an abundance of injuries, mainly due to the lockout. And so far that looks to be true. The Rams were plagued with injuries by key players yesterday, Bengals QB Andy Dalton went down, Charger RB Mike Tolbert got banged up..and the list goes on and on from yesterday’s games. Its alarming, especially when you have skill players taking the hit. As a fan, its a huge concern, but I’m sure as a player/coach that concern is 10x worse.

Isn’t it funny how we witnessed a near-perfect QB play in the Green Bay-New Orleans game last Thursday, only to see a Romo/Sanchez slop fest last night? The Cowboys-Jets game was the exact opposite of Thursday’s show down, but the excitement was all the same. Mistakes clouded last night’s game big time, but those very same mistakes kept the game interesting. Down 24-10 in the 4th quarter, the Jets found a way to not screw it up when it counted to beat the Cowboys, 27-24. That’s the beauty of football. You can see a squeaky clean game and then see a sloppy, mistake laden game but the awesome levels are still the same. One of the reasons why football is so great.

OT: Tony Romo can’t catch a break.. mainly from the fans and the media. I’m not saying its not warranted, he’s given folks plenty of reason to criticize him. But the QB is always a position that gets held at a higher regard than any other position. The fact that he plays for the Cowboys makes it worse because his stage is much bigger than other teams. It’s recipe for disaster. As long as he continues to make critical mistakes, how good he is will be debated. Its the nature of the beast, whether you like it or not.

Donovan McNabb, SMH………… My, how the mighty have fallen.

Someone posted this on Twitter yesterday. In less than 140 characters it was quite simple yet the truest tweet of the day. In a sentence, it said, “The Harbaugh’s>>>>>> The Manning’s”. And as of right now, that’s exactly right.

I’m not a Bills fan, but I empathize with what they’ve been through the past few years, mainly because of my football sister Pigskin Loving Lady. I was happy for them in yesterday’s 41-7 shellacking over the Chiefs. Maybe my empathy is more so pity, because the Bills should have won at LEAST 2 more games last year (Ravens, Steelers). I’m not picking them to go to the playoffs or anything, but I do believe they’ll be better than we expect.

OT: this is only Week 1 but I’m gonna say it. Kansas City is overrated. Not that they can’t be good, they have a core group of youth on their team. But they continue to show me that they aren’t ready to take over the drivers seat in the AFC West. You have to dethrone the Chargers, who are a penciled in pick every year as long as my boo (Philip Rivers) is running the team. The Chiefs are young, so the experience will come. I just don’t see them repeating as AFC West champs.

Until the Falcons win a playoff game, they’ll always be regular season champs to me. Outside of Michael Turner, they didn’t show me much yesterday. I realize they’re a very good team on paper. People LOOOOOOOVE Matty Ice, so I get it. But until they can show me they are consistent and able to win playoff games (which they have yet to do since Ryan was drafted), they gets no love from me…. sorry.

Cam Newton looks like the real deal. Even in a losing effort, he did the damn thing, passing for 422 yards in his NFL debut. His confidence and poise is impecable, and that is the key to how far Carolina can go this season. I used to think Newton was a bit cocky, especially after seeing his smirks and facial responses at the draft this past April. Now I see it’s a bit deeper than that. He believes in himself and what he can do for his football team. And I can’t be mad at that!

And last but not least, the Redskins beat the New York Giants yesterday… the DC/MD/VA area is about to explode with Super Bowl talk….. pray for me!

If you’re looking for Panthers QB Cam Newton’s WTF moment on-the-field, then you’re not at the right place. I will, however, show you his WTF moment off-the-field, which has been a while ago, but I just caught wind to this.

Mr. Newton and other Auburn players took part in a Halloween contest last October. The Heisman Trophy winner decides to come as this:

The person next to him? His teammate, backup QB Clint Moseley.

I don’t know how this was overlooked by me last year, but it’s definitely caught my attention today. To make things worse, Cam’s costume isn’t the most outrageous. The player with the mid drift denim shirt on is gonna give me nightmares for sure tonight, among others. If I’m Cam’s old teammates or his friends/family, I would never let him live this down.

Panthers QB Cam Newton may be awesome at playing football, but he needs to leave the singing to the experts.

Newton sang Justin Bieber’s “Baby” song at the Panini NFL Rookie Card Shoot this weekend. And he didn’t do a good job. Okay I’m being nice… he sucked!

Clearly Newton didn’t know the song outside of “Baby”, so he later decides to freestyle. Let me say that he’s not on Jay-Z’s level.. he probably may never be… but at least he tried!

Shout out to BlackSportsOnline for posting it video. Panthers fans don’t worry, I don’t think Newton is quitting his day job anytime soon.

Before I get into the hot topics of the week, I want to thank the NFL owners and NFLPA for extending the CBA for 24 hours, as they feverishly try to work out a new deal. While I’m well aware that 24 hours isn’t a lot of time and that a lockout still may occur, the fact that they extended it gave me a small glimpse of hope. I even danced a jig when I heard the good news.

This blogger/fan that I am is praying that they get this done and that there’s football without interruptions or replacements. We want football in 2011 and beyond!

Bob Sanders has found a new home out west, as he signs a 1-year deal with the San Diego Chargers. The 2007 Defensive Player of the Year was released by the Colts last month, mainly due to his inability to stay healthy. Good luck to Sanders, hopefully he can play a full year of football. Us ladies sure would like to see your name come across our screen. I get double the treat, since my boo Philip Rivers is on the squad as well…

In other news….. Jeremy Shockey signed with the lowly Carolina Panthers. Oh…………………………………

Word on the street is former Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell’s Oakland home is in jeopardy for foreclosure. Apparently, Mr. Russell owes about $195K and if he doesn’t pay it, it’s put back in the market.

We all know the Raiders threw Russell a dumb amount of money, so I doubt he’s broke. Surely buying Coogi sweaters, purple drank and fugly chains couldn’t have taken all of his $30 million plus he’s received so far. My guess is his mind frame was since he no longer plays for Oakland, he said screw that house and decided not to pay for it any longer. But why do that and mess up your credit?  Whoever his financial advisor is (if he even has one), isn’t advising him of much. Don’t be a dummy, get rid of the house and move on. Ignorance is bliss……………..

In case you haven’t heard, the Lingerie Football League said they are willing to take over your households on Sundays if the NFL cannot come up to an agreement and in fact, lockout. I’m sure the men have NO problems with seeing scantily clad women run around making hard hits and tackles. But I’m curious to know how the women feel about this?

I’ve watched LFL games before and it’s actually not that bad. But not everyone would be down to watching half-naked women try and fill a void for real football. Let me know what you think ladies… Yay or Nay on LFL replacing NFL on Sundays if there’s a lockout.

Congrats to my Ravens for going to the playoffs 3 straight seasons in a row. In this franchise’s short history, the Ravens have done so much in so little time. Playoff berths, division titles and a Super Bowl is quite a feat. The next step is another ring back to Charm City, but I’ll take it one week at a time right now. Ravens QB Joe Flacco also has a few accolades to go with this joyous occasion. He became the 6th fastest QB to throw for 10,000 yards, tied with 2nd most wins by a QB in his first 3 seasons with 34 regular and playoff wins, and last but not at all the least, joins Dan Marino and Bernie Kosar as the only QBs to go to the playoffs their first 3 years in the league. People always talk about my main man Joe, but you don’t make accomplishments like this being a mediocre QB. Ask Kyle Boller, who had a better defense than Joe did during his tenure in Baltimore.

XP: Dear Ed Reed…. we love you dearly, but if you lateral a ball one mo’gin………………..

Yesterday was a sad day for the state of New York. Buffalo got that azz beat skull dragged by the Patriots, the Jets gave up 38 points in a loss to the Bears and the Giants got mudd stomped by the Packers. The G-Men still look dazed from last week’s epic fail in the Eagles come-from-behind win, and Buffalo didn’t have a real chance in hell against New England this time around.

But if you’re looking for a silver lining, it’s simply this…. the Jets still earned a playoff berth due to Jacksonville’s loss to the Redskins. But going into the playoffs, you have to be concerned as a Jets fan. The Jets have one of the top defenses in the league, yet gave up too many points in yesterday’s loss. The Jets have also lost 3 of their last 4 games. Get it together Gang Green… and fast.

It’s Shout Out time! Let me show some players/teams some Week 16 love.

S/O to Tim Tebow for doing the unthinkable: Throwing for over 300 yards in his first NFL season. Tebow brought the Broncos back from a 17-point deficit at halftime to beat the Houston Texans, 24-23. I’m a Gators fan and a Tebow supporter, but even I didn’t think he would throw for 300 yards. I’m happy for him and even more so proud that he’s shown all the naysayers, myself included, that he can be a decent QB in this league.

S/O to the Detroit Lions for finally getting it. It may be a little late, but it’s a great confidence builder for 2011 and beyond. Detroit just made next year’s NFC North a competitive division again.

S/O to Peyton Manning for the most awkward, funniest run I’ve ever seen.

Dude looked like a bobble head out there. Fantasy football owners are beyond pissed that he didn’t score, but that slide was epic! I never knew you had it in you, Pey-Pey (yeah.. I just made that up. He needs a nickname for that play alone!).

S/O to the Bengals for knocking the Chargers out of the playoffs. Before I get swarmed with, “I can’t believe you” and , “You’re rooting against your boo, Philip Rivers?”, let me say this. Cincinnati did everyone else in the AFC a favor. No one…. and I mean just that… NO ONE.. wanted to see San Diego in the playoffs. My team included. The fact that Cincy wiped them out of contention is a football godsend. The Chargers would have been a problem. And I don’t feel bad about my thoughts at all.

XP: I hope my boo understands and isn’t mad………. it’s just business, not personal.

S/O to the Arizona Cardinals and the Dallas Cowboys for giving us a good game to watch on X-mas night. It usually works that way, 2 bad teams on paper making it interesting. Last year it was the Lions/Browns. this year it was the Cowboys/Cardinals. It must really suck, though, if you’re a Dallas native who dropped your Xmas plans to go to Arizona and witness your team lose to a team that’s badder than you…….

S/O to the Carolina Panthers for winning the #1 overall pick for the 2011 NFL Draft. If you’re gonna suck, you gotta be the best at it, and Carolina was without a doubt the worst team in the league this year. The beauty about parity in the NFL is you can go from garbage to a playoff contender in no time. But for now, it doesn’t hurt that you get first dibs on college’s best because you just can’t get right.

S/O to the NFL for wimping out and canceling last night’s Vikings-Eagles game. The NFL of old would have never canceled a game. I know it’s all about the fan safety and what not… but ask people that attended the Ice Bowl, the Snowplow Game or the Freezer Bowl if they wished they would’ve had the same courtesy. I’m just saying……………….

If you had to caption the fight between 49ers head coach Mike Singletary and QB Troy Smith on the sidelines during yesterday’s game against the Rams, what would you think it was about?

My guess is, it went like this:

Mike Singletary: If you keep throwing dumb ass INTs like that, not only will I bench you right now but I’m gonna cut your ass come tomorrow!

Troy Smith: Cut me?! How are you gonna cut me when your ass is on the chopping block your damn self?!

MS: This isn’t about me….. Right now, I HAVE THE POWER! (In He-Man voice). Don’t make me drop my pants to my knees again, boy!

TS: Old man, sitcho dumb azz down. I promise you, you’ll be gone before me!

Welp… guess which one was right? Bye Bye Singletary……….. It’s been real!

If you are a Ravens fan that was in Charlotte this past weekend for the Ravens-Panthers game, chances are you were at the Whiskey River, tailgating with other Ravens fans.

Fans got together to congregate and meet up with other fans and in the midst of doing so, had a Ray Lewis Dance-Off. Each person had to imitate the famous Ravens MLB for his pregame dance that’s very well known for.

As bad as I thought the dance was coming from Ray himself, it’s about a million times worse coming from random people.

One guy looks like he’s having a seizure. The other guy looks like he practices the dance in the mirror every time he gets out of the shower. But alas, it was the 12 year-old in the Anquan Boldin jersey that won the contest (why was he at a place called Whiskey River anyway??? I’ll leave that alone……..).

Looking at the video and watching yesterday’s game, it’s safe to say that Ravens fans had taken over the city of Charlotte. CBS analyst Solomon Wilcots commented during the game that there were a, “contingent of Ravens fans” at the game, with some estimating close to 25,000 fans cheering for black and purple. It was noticeable enough so, that Charlotte Observer writer Tom Sorensen even commented on the abundance of fans,

Baltimore fans so overwhelmed their Carolina counterparts that the concession stands should have sold crab cakes. When is the Preakness again? Where was Babe Ruth born? And have the Orioles been mathematically eliminated?

If anyone can do such a ratchet dance, it’s Ray. Let him keep this pregame contraction, please and thanks LOL!