It’s amazing how time flies. We’re already beginning the 2nd half of our beloved NFL season,  So of course, it’s time to see how your favorite team fared midway through the 2011 season. Only, instead of giving actual grades, I’m breaking them up in categories. Same analysis as ESPN, but better because it’s not so formal. So without further ado…. the midseason report cards.

F*ck It, I’m On One!: Green Bay Packers

The Packers deserve a column of their own. As far as NFL class goes, there’s the Packers and then there’s everyone else. No one is touching them right now and to be honest, I don’t know who will. Aaron Rodgers is playing like he’s possessed right about now. I like Green Bay but the little hater in me says they need to sit their bragging asses down somewhere. No reason why I feel that way, I’m just a little green and tired of seeing them win.

They Are Who We Thought They Were:  Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots

The Steelers started out old and slow, but they’ve finally got the ball rolling. They’ve been on fire the past few weeks, and have picked up from last season, thanks to the emergence of guys like Mike Wallace and Emmanuel Sanders. The Patriots make this list because they’re still a team of concern if they’re on your schedule, but they can’t stop a nose bleed (Bart Scott voice) so unless they figure out to stop good teams, they may be in trouble….

Well I’ll Be John Brown (c/o @DragonflyJonez): Cincinnati Bengals, San Francisco 49ers, Detroit Lions, Buffalo Bills

I dedicate this category to my Twitter buddy, who always uses this term at the right time and better than anybody I know. Most of us looked at contenders for 2011 and didn’t think about any of these teams, for a lot of reasons. New players, lockout hangover, inconsistent or not good in years past…. for whatever reason, unless you were a fan of these teams, they simply weren’t on your radar. Well I’ll be John Brown if they aren’t now. The Bengals are 5-2 with a Top 5 defense and have shown success with Andy Dalton and AJ Green. The 49ers changed their coaching staff and brought in Jim Harbaugh and have only lost one game so far, even giving Alex Smith some life. And the Bills, who had every bounce against them in 2010 despite playing hard, are finally getting the ball in their court. The Lions are probably the least bit shocking, since they finished 2010 strong. But it’s the Lions…. you still haven’t forgotten about 0-16 and Matt Stafford gets hurt if you blow on him hard enough. Alas, no bad karma and all teams are doing big things

They’re Good, BUT……..: Baltimore Ravens, New York Giants, San Diego Chargers, Houston Texans, New York Jets, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Atlanta Falcons 

These teams have a winning record so they’re good based on record but we really have no idea what to expect for the 2nd half of the season. The Ravens have beaten quality opponents in Pittsburgh, Houston and the Jets, but have crapped the pot against teams they should have beaten in Tennessee and Jacksonville…… The Giants are decent, but their schedule the next 6 weeks is beyond brutal and one has to wonder will the injuries they have finally start to catch up….. The Chargers are actually starting out with a winning record for once, but QB Philip Rivers (my boo!) hasn’t looked like the Rivers of old, and fumbled control of the AFC West away last Monday night……. The Texans are good, but losing Mario Williams for the year and Andre Johnson for some time may hurt them in the long run…..The Jets have seemed to regress a little on defense, and Mark Sanchez not getting much help from his run game is an issue…..The Saints WERE in my “They are who we thought they were” column, but they lost to the Rams, The WINLESS ST. LOUIS RAMS, WITHOUT SAM BRADFORD! Yeah, they go down a notch after that one….. The Bucs have youth on their side, but their lopsided loss to San Francisco puts them in this category….. Atlanta always leaves me scratching my head at the end of their games. With all of the offensive weapons they have, I don’t see how they don’t put up 30 points easily, each week. They have some inexperience on defense that holds them to this category.

Ehhhhh……………..: Chicago Bears, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, Carolina Panthers, Tennessee Titans

It’s not that I don’t think these teams are good or can’t be good… it’s just that I couldn’t add them in the “They’re good but” category because they’ve done something not worthy of that category. The Bears’ offensive line blocks like Cutler stole their girl……The Eagles started out slow, and with the “Dream Team” talk prior to the season, expectations were above normal so their 3-4 record is underachieving at best… The Cowboys need a TV time out with the way they’ve played football lately. I thought they’d be better than this at this point. I haven;t totally written them off, tho. They have talent….. The Chiefs started off rough (remember Matt Cassel’s blow up with HC Todd Haley on the sidelines??), but they’ve rebounded well. It’s the AFC West so it’s hard to be impressed just yet…..The Raiders looked like they were gonna have a good season before Jason Campbell went down. Oakland traded their 2012 #1 pick and a conditional pick to Cincy for Carson Palmer, but all Palmer did was stink it up in his debut. He’s not the same QB he was before 2005 and quite frankly, I wonder if Al Davis came back from the dead to make one last WTF personnel decision… Despite Carolina’s record, I’m gonna put them in this column because I seriously believe they try hard each and every week, yet fall short. This team reminds me a lot of Buffalo’s team last season. They hang in there, but can’t get the “W” in the end. I can’t be mad at that. They should be added in my next group but I love their resilience. The Titans are here by default, because they have a good record. But Chris Johnson got paid and told the Titans, “Fcuk your couch”. He’s still holding out but we didn’t know until now. With Kenny Britt going down, that hurt big time for Tennessee. Good thing is, the AFC South could be a 2-man race, and they’re still in it.

“Insert Comment Here”: Cleveland Browns, Seattle Seahawks, Jacksonville Jaguars, Minnesota Vikings, Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins

Face it- these teams’ style of play are boring and uninspiring more times than not (minus the Vikings the past 2 weeks. But that’s because Ponder now has the keys). Put yourself in my shoes…. What could you possibly say about any of these teams individually that doesn’t sound like the others in this group? Can’t figure it out? Me neither. So feel free to insert your own comment here.

Bad…. Real Bad Michael Jackson: Indianapolis Colts, St. Louis Rams, Miami Dolphins, Denver Broncos

I guess this group could be called the “Suck For Luck” lottery, but that’s unoriginal and overused at this point. These 4 teams stink and I’d bet my money on LSU or Alabama if they played any of these teams at this point. Probably the worst team of them all is Indy. Never have I seen a franchise fall so fast from one key player going down. That’s a direct reflection of the GM and ownership and it’s inexcusable. The Rams have some good pieces and aren’t AS bad as Indy (not saying much), but their defense isn’t that good, particularly their secondary (although they did hold NO to one offensive TD in Sunday’s win) and there isn’t a true #1 WR on the team. The Dolphins need a new makeover, period. Not only did you celebrate the FLORIDA GATORS championship in MIAMI HURRICANES-land, you let Tim Tebow beat you in the Final 5 minutes of the same game. Yeah, you suck, Miami…….. Speaking of Tebow, he is getting KILT in the media (yeah, I said it… not killed, but KILT!) on what most of us already knew: Great college player, lots of heart and passion, not going to translate into the NFL. It’s been a while since I’ve seen so much attention lay on one guy like this. Denver officially came into the Top 5 pick race as of Sunday.

This past weekend, Hall Of Fame inductee Deion Sanders hosted his 2nd annual youth football tournament, along with former Ravens/Browns RB Jamal Lewis, in Atlanta, GA. Teams from Dallas, TX, Baltimore, MD, Atlanta and Athens, GA took part in the weekend of football games that were separated in 3 age groups (10 and under, 12 and under & 14 and under). Sanders’ TRUTH team from Dallas, TX was there to represent.

During the tournament, I was able to sit down and have a conversation with Primetime. While the interview was great, it’s extremely hard to hear him due to his soft spoken demeanor (who knew?!).

Here are a few tidbits from his interview that are hard to hear:

On his reason behind the youth tournament:

I gotta reach [out to the youth], I gotta touch them, I gotta inspire them… hopefully to motivate them to get educated and to just dream….I think it’s a direct result of us [as adults], we stopped dreaming… we gotta get back to the roots, the basics, the core…and start spending time and loving [the children].. to let them know, they can make a difference

On the teams to watch for the 2011 season:

You have to fall back on the teams that faired well from last year… you gotta love New England  because of Tom Brady, the Pittsburgh Steelers are always gonna be there as well as Baltimore in the AFC and I can’t sleep on the New York Jets…. when you move over to the [NFC], I like New Orleans…. Tampa Bay came out strong…the Atlanta Falcons, I always save the best for somewhat last and I cannot discount, the Dallas Cowboys

On a take your pick segment that I quizzed him on:

Nnamdi/Revis: I like Revis… he dominates and plays both sides of the field

Andre Johnson/Calvin Johnson: Andre Johnson, and it’s not even close. Calvin is a young, grown man who’s coming on strong, But Andre is a grown man already… one of the better receivers of the game

Chad Johnson/Chad Ochocinco: I like Johnson. Johnson put up better numbers than Ochocinco. Ochocinco is my boy, I love him….but when Chad Johnson was Chad Johnson (pauses) Whoo… he was on.

T.O./Randy Moss/Plaxico Burress: Plaxico ain’t even in that conversation. I love him… but, T.O.could go down in history as one of the greatest to ever play the game. Randy Moss, WILL go into the Hall Of Fame one day and statistically is one of the greatest receivers to ever play the game.

Sanders also hosted a Red and Black Gala, to celebrate his Hall Of Fame induction. Those that came to celebrate his honor were NFL Network’s Jamie Dukes, Chilli from TLC, MLB player Brian Jordan and Keith Sweat, just to name a few. Sanders walked the red carpet with his gorgeous wife, Pilar. The event was a success, ending the night with Sweat serenading the audience with his old school hits (don’t judge me, I was amused!).

Here we go… another player, another allegation of violence during the NFL Lockout. Bucs CB Aqib Talib is once again in headlines; this time involving 2 guns, 5 shots, his mama, his sister and the sister’s boyfriend. The Garland (TX) Police Dept states Talib as a “person of interest” involving an altercation and could be arrested and charged with anything from discharging a firearm within a municipality to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

From the Dallas Observer, here’s what happened:

According to a GPD initial report about the incident and two sources familiar with the case Talib allegedly attempted to pistol-whip his sister Saran’s boyfriend, Shannon Billings, and then, after a struggle, used his mother Okolo’s pistol and fired several shots at Billings as he fled the scene on foot.

According to the report and the sources, at 7:30 p.m. on March 21 Aqib Muttaqi Talib went to his sister’s home in the 900 block of Green Pond Drive in Garland (south of Bush Turnpike not far from Spring Creek Elementary and Hawaiian Falls Water Park). Saran, who was arguing with Billings, also called her mother for help. Police were directed to Saran’s home via a 911 call by neighbors, who reported a domestic dispute and three shots fired at a black male by a black female. According to the report, police arrived to find Billings standing in front of a nearby residence. While interviewing him, officers discovered Billings was a suspect in two pending, related, family-violence offenses involving Saran and arrested him.

When initially questioned, both Saran and Okolo Talib said they knew nothing of an earlier incident at the house. Billings, however, led police to a gun he said belonged to Aqib that Billings had thrown in a neighbor’s trash can after escaping his struggle with the player. After finding the weapon and calling forensic investigators to retrieve numerous spent shell casings in the street, officers took a statement from Billings.

According to the report, Billings said Aqib produced a handgun and “attempted to strike him in the face.” During the ensuing skirmish Talib dropped the gun and Billings picked it up and began runnning, prompting Okolo to produce a gun and fire three shots toward him. Billings told police that Talib then took Okolo’s gun, said “I’ll shoot him” and fired at least two shots before Billings safely ducked into nearby woods. Neighborhood witnesses corroborated Billings’ story.

WOW!

It’s no secret that Talib has had numerous issues off the field, starting back when he played at the University of Kansas. He’s been linked to 2 fights with Bucs teammates, a 2009 arrest.. and who can forget threatening a referee after a loss to the Ravens???

I’m not mad a Talib for seemingly coming to the defense of his sister. That’s what most brothers would do. However, his history with violence doesn’t help with these new allegations, and his defense may not hold up if he’s actually charged with a crime. As talented as Talib is on the field, this is the last kind of publicity he needs at this point. The NFL Lockout doesn’t allow the Bucs to contact Talib at this point, which is another indication that a new deal needs to be put in place NOW! Players are getting arrested and involved in trouble at alarming rates.. more than I’ve ever remembered over the years. Even if Buccaneers wanted to provide help for Talib, they can’t provide at this moment. A deal needs to be done ASAP.. to save some of these guys from self destructing.

Sorry Giants fans. Looks like the former Giants WR isn’t looking for a reunion in the Big Apple. Plaxico Burress is set to be released this June after doing a 2 year stint for the famous self inflicted wound heard around the league back in 2008. But Burress wants a warm weather city to start his comeback campaign.

It’s been reported that Plax is looking to play closer to his Miami, FL. home, possibly wanting to play in Miami, Jacksonville or Tampa Bay. A possible acquisition to any of the 3 teams could be a big boost in the WR groups.

Miami- On opposite side of Brandon Marshall, brings 2 big threats

Tampa Bay- could help develop emerging stars Mike Williams and Arrelious Benn

Jacksonville- Could be an immediate impact to roster, in part because the most known player in the WR group is Mike Sims-Walker. Don’t know who he is, either? Google may help.

There’s no telling if any of these teams would have a vested interest in Burress once he is released. He’s stated that he’s lost about 14 pounds since being in prison, but if you ask me it looks more like 30 pounds. While I’m sure Plax is in great shape, you have to wonder how fast can he get back into “football shape”. I wish Burress nothing but the best. I’m sure one of those teams would welcome him with open arms.

With the regular season over, the NFL will be ready to give out their awards for the best players in the league on offense, defense and coaching. I’m a huge fan of the game so I figured I’d give you my 2010 NFL winners of the prestigious awards that they give out every year. I’m thinking I’ll be more right than wrong, mainly because I’m awesome at this football thing. But there’s always room for error. In any event, I’m here to take a crack who wins what this year.

NFL Coach Of The Year- Raheem Morris, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

There are a few coaches who are deserving of this award. Todd Haley in Kansas City and even good ol’ Billy Boy (Belichick), after the revamping of his team. But this award goes to Morris for one simple reason- Who would have thought the Bucs would end the season at 10-6?? I, for one, didn’t see that coming.. AT ALL! The Buccaneers have one of the youngest teams in the NFL, and if they were in the NFC West they’d be hosting a playoff game this weekend.  Morris said earlier this year that he thought his team was the best in the NFC and they rallied behind that and finished strong, winning 3 out of their last 4 games. He’s not a miracle worker, but he’s damn close. It sucks that they are in the very tough NFC South with the Falcons and the Super Bowl champion Saints, but the Bucs have every reason to believe they can compete with their division foes for 2011 and beyond.

Offensive Rookie Of The Year- Rob Gronkowski, New England Patriots and Mike Williams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

This was hard to choose, so I’m picking both. How can you not make a case for Gronkowski? Okay, so Tom Brady throws him the ball, but so what? Gronkowski has been a great asset to the Patriots this season and a red zone killer, scoring 10 TDs in his rookie contest. Since the departure of Moss, Brady has relied on his rookie TEs in a big way (the other is Aaron Hernandez FROM… the University of Florida! *Gator chomping*). Gronkowski has taken his roll and ran away with it…. literally. Mike Williams has also done the same, becoming a big time target for QB Josh Freeman, catching 11TDs and ending the season averaging nearly 15 yards per reception. Williams and Freeman should be making beautiful TDs together in the future with his playmaking ability. Both deserve the praise. I know only one will win, but it’s my blog, I can pick both!

Defensive Rookie Of The Year- Ndamukong Suh, Detroit Lions

I don’t know another defensive rookie that brought so much immediate impact to his defense like Suh has. Coming out of Nebraska, I always thought Suh would be a star in the NFL and so far he’s been on track to do just that. He ended the 2010 season with 10 sacks, an interception and a forced fumble. His numbers are pretty good, but the intangibles of his game don’t translate on paper. The pressures, the hits to the QB, all of those things are a part of Suh’s game. And with a defensive mind like Jim Schwartz at the helm of the Lions, he’s going to be a problem in this league for a long time.

Offensive Player Of The Year- Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers

Yes, we all know this is my boo. But I promise you, this is an unbiased choice. Rivers lead the league in passing yards (4,710) and was Top 5 in TDs (31), QB rating (101.8) and completion % (66%). Even more impressive about Rivers this season? He was able to maintain having the #1 offense in the league without the likes of Vincent Jackson, Marcus McNeill, Antonio Gates, Malcolm Floyd and Ryan Matthews all being healthy or on the roster… at ONCE! You can pretend you knew who Seyi Ajirotutu was before he caught a TD pass by Rivers, but you’re probably a liar (yeah, I said it!) . He’s the leader of this team without question, and if the Chargers had better special teams this season, they would be in the playoffs. He deserves the credit.

Defensive Player Of The Year- Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh Steelers

I’m going to catch a LOT of flack about this… mainly because I don the black and purple real heavy. I really had a hard time picking this award, because Packers LB Clay Matthews and Ravens S Ed Reed both made great cases of being the DPOY. But Polamalu had so many game changing plays this season that’s it’s hard to take this away from him. I say all the time, the Steelers won the AFC North this season because of Polamalu alone, with that game breaking hit against Flacco. When he’s not playing, the Steelers hurt… bad! Forget Ben being the most important piece for Pittsburgh, Polamalu is and it’s without question.I’m gonna get windmilled by Ravens Nation for this.. but I can’t hate on Troy, he’s a game changer. He wins, in my book.

Comeback Player Of The Year- Michael Vick, Philadelphia Eagles

I’m sure a lot of people will feel some kind of way about this pick. Many believe he should be the MVP of the league. And if he’s not that, then he’s the OPOY. But I disagree. The numbers don’t back that up and I mentioned why in my previous blog post . But to deny what Vick has come from in the past 2 years, only to play at such a high level this season is foolish and he deserves recognition for it. He’s still one of the most exciting players in the league and the Eagles wouldn’t be playoff bound if it weren’t for Vick. The sky is the limit for him and I hope he’s allowed to stay in Philly to grow. If not, there will be more than a dozen teams throwing money at his feet once the season is over. Comeback is an understatement for Vick. He’s BALLIN’!

NFL MVP- Tom Brady, New England Patriots

You can hate the Uggs, the Bieber cut, the wifey, the coach and the partridge in a pear tree. But you’d be the ultimate hater if you say he’s undeserving of this award. I’m not going to get into a debate about it. If you want to know why I chose him, it’s simple… you can google him. Tom Brady is the MVP whether folks like it or not. And on that note… Exit left, stage right.

Happy New Year, boys and girls!!! And then there were 12.  The regular season is over but the playoffs are just beginning. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to see the best of the best (minus the Seahawks) get ready to slug it out to see who’s gonna hold the Lombardi trophy this February. It’s a melancholy feeling, because it’s only about 4 weeks of football left, which immediately makes me sad. But then I have to remind myself that my team is in the dance.

So back to Happy Happy Joy Joy Land I go! It’s also Black Monday and by the looks of the head coaches fired in-season (4 of them, to be exact), I expect a big turnover and flip flopping of coaches to take place this week. So coaches on the chopping block, you better hide your kids, hide your wives and hide your bank accounts.. cause they firing everybody out here!

As a Ravens fan, I’m glad we’re 12-4 and in the playoffs. But I’d be lying if I told you I was confident going into Wild Card Weekend. The football gods gave us a pass and re-routed us to KC instead of Indy, who the Ravens haven’t beaten in a LOOOOOOONG time. But this team scares me. They’ve looked lost at times this season and have played along with their opponent. They took New England all the way to OT but they also did the same with the Buffalo Bills. I have no idea what team will show up come Sunday. But if it’s the team that played yesterday against the Bengals, then my squad is in trouble!!!

Brett Favre says he’s finally done with his career…. I say…..

The Raiders have become the ONLY team since the 1970 merger to sweep their division and NOT make the playoffs. On one side, you know that Oakland has something to build on for 2011 and beyond. On the other side, how can you be so awesome against your own division, but be 2-8 against everybody else? Oakland is on the rise… but they have a ways to go to get there.

Shout out to the Detroit Lions for going into the offseason with a 4-game winning streak. 6-10 is a hell of a lot better than 0-16. Baby steps, Detroit… baby steps.

S/O to the NFC West for the highway robbery of a playoff spot. Your whole division sucks, and your 7-9 NFC West champs in the Seahawks get to host a playoff game. I hope New Orleans beats you into Mortal Kombat submission as a reminder to why the NFL needs to tweak the current playoff system.

S/O to Kerry Collins for passing Johnny Unitas for passing yards all-time (11th). No, I’m serious… He did!

As for your fumble late in the 4th quarter that would’ve given you the win against Indy…..

S/O to my boo, Philip Rivers.. for just being YOU! You always have a fan in me. I’m just glad we don’t have to play you in the postseason.

If you’re Tampa Bay or the New York Giants and their fans, you’re sick as hell right now…. But at least you ended on a good note, right?!?! I’m not helping am I??? Okay, I’ll shut up now……………

If you missed last night’s Monday Night Football matchup between the San Francisco 49ers and the Arizona Cardinals, you didn’t miss much at all. A boring game between 2 bad teams, fighting to stay away from being a basement feeder in an awful NFC West division. The 49ers beat the Cardinals, 27-6, but the fun all happened during the post game press conference.

Cardinals QB Derek Anderson was approached by a reporter, asking why was he seen laughing with a teammate during the 4th quarter while being down 18 points. Anderson doesn’t like being challenged, I don’t think. Because it didn’t take any time for him to go off!

I won’t lie, I laughed my ass off when I originally saw this. But I’m going to side with Anderson on this one. I don’t think any of them LIKED being blown out at home. Are you not allowed to laugh during all 60 mins of a football game? Maybe he was laughing to keep from crying, because the Cardinals suck really bad. No one likes their livelihood questioned, even if you are a subpar QB like Derek Anderson.

This has to go down as one of the Top 10 post game tirades of all time. Maybe not Top 5, as Denny Green, Herm Edwards and Jim Mora still have some of the best post game comments ever. But this was entertaining, nonetheless.

The NFL is currently investigating a b*tch fight verbal altercation between a player and an official. Tampa Bay Buccaneers CB Aqib Talib allegedly got into a heated exchange with a NFL official, stemming from a questionable pass interference call during the Ravens game. Here’s what Rick Stroud from the St. Petersburg Times tweeted:

Bucs CB Aqib Talib had words with officials following Sunday’s game about an interference call on rookie Myron Lewis

One official on Carl Cheffers crew told Talib in response, “You played like a p—-.” Talib then had to be held back by teammates.

Talib responded to the official’s comment by saying, “I’ll (hit) you in your b—- a– mouth.’ Talib would not talk to reporters Sunday

Two thoughts came to mind. If it’s been confirmed that the NFL ref said what he said, then action should take place immediately. Too many times referees are being held to pedestals and they too do things that can be considered unethical. Telling someone they played like a sour cat is wrong.

But you have to admit, that was funny as hell. If I were Talib, I’d be mad too. You just got ethered by a ref and you really can’t do much about it. It’s no secret that Talib is a hothead anyway, so it wouldn’t take much to set him off. But I would think he’s smart enough to know if he actually attacked a ref, he’d be sent his walking papers possibly for the rest of the year.

Andre Johnson won’t be suspended for knocking Cortland Finnegan the hell out his fight with Cortland Finnegan. Instead, both players were fined $25,000 for their part in the altercation. I’m sure the league heard a lot of outcry from fellow WRs, begging the commish not to punish Johnson. After all, it’s something they’ve all wanted to do for some time now. I doubt very seriously that Finnegan will change the way he approaches the game. He prides himself on getting into his opponent’s head and has said that he likes being called the NFL’s Dirtiest Player. But maybe he’ll think next time before putting his hands a little too close to Andre Johnson’s face mask again.

And finally, a useless fact that you may possibly not care about but I found it interesting. Tom Brady is endorsing Ugg Boots for Men.

Ummmm………………………………………………………………………………

One has to ask, what the hell is Giselle doing to him?? Maybe she likes men with 16 year-old hair cuts that wear women comfort shoes. This is ungood and adds to the many punchlines of jokes amongst the Anti-Brady Nation. Who wears the pants in this relationship? Next, we’ll be seeing Tom Tom walking down the VS runways with the $2 million dollar bra on. Go back to being a football player, dude……….

Program Note: Join us tonight on Gridiron Gals radio, as we have former Bengals and Titans DT John Thornton, as we talk about the state of the Cincinnati Bengals, tonight at 9PM http://www.blogtalkradio.com/gridirongals