It’s amazing how time flies. We’re already beginning the 2nd half of our beloved NFL season,  So of course, it’s time to see how your favorite team fared midway through the 2011 season. Only, instead of giving actual grades, I’m breaking them up in categories. Same analysis as ESPN, but better because it’s not so formal. So without further ado…. the midseason report cards.

 

F*ck It, I’m On One!: Green Bay Packers

The Packers deserve a column of their own. As far as NFL class goes, there’s the Packers and then there’s everyone else. No one is touching them right now and to be honest, I don’t know who will. Aaron Rodgers is playing like he’s possessed right about now. I like Green Bay but the little hater in me says they need to sit their bragging asses down somewhere. No reason why I feel that way, I’m just a little green and tired of seeing them win.

They Are Who We Thought They Were:  Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots

The Steelers started out old and slow, but they’ve finally got the ball rolling. They’ve been on fire the past few weeks, and have picked up from last season, thanks to the emergence of guys like Mike Wallace and Emmanuel Sanders. The Patriots make this list because they’re still a team of concern if they’re on your schedule, but they can’t stop a nose bleed (Bart Scott voice) so unless they figure out to stop good teams, they may be in trouble….

Well I’ll Be John Brown (c/o @DragonflyJonez): Cincinnati Bengals, San Francisco 49ers, Detroit Lions, Buffalo Bills

I dedicate this category to my Twitter buddy, who always uses this term at the right time and better than anybody I know. Most of us looked at contenders for 2011 and didn’t think about any of these teams, for a lot of reasons. New players, lockout hangover, inconsistent or not good in years past…. for whatever reason, unless you were a fan of these teams, they simply weren’t on your radar. Well I’ll be John Brown if they aren’t now. The Bengals are 5-2 with a Top 5 defense and have shown success with Andy Dalton and AJ Green. The 49ers changed their coaching staff and brought in Jim Harbaugh and have only lost one game so far, even giving Alex Smith some life. And the Bills, who had every bounce against them in 2010 despite playing hard, are finally getting the ball in their court. The Lions are probably the least bit shocking, since they finished 2010 strong. But it’s the Lions…. you still haven’t forgotten about 0-16 and Matt Stafford gets hurt if you blow on him hard enough. Alas, no bad karma and all teams are doing big things

They’re Good, BUT……..: Baltimore Ravens, New York Giants, San Diego Chargers, Houston Texans, New York Jets, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Atlanta Falcons 

These teams have a winning record so they’re good based on record but we really have no idea what to expect for the 2nd half of the season. The Ravens have beaten quality opponents in Pittsburgh, Houston and the Jets, but have crapped the pot against teams they should have beaten in Tennessee and Jacksonville…… The Giants are decent, but their schedule the next 6 weeks is beyond brutal and one has to wonder will the injuries they have finally start to catch up….. The Chargers are actually starting out with a winning record for once, but QB Philip Rivers (my boo!) hasn’t looked like the Rivers of old, and fumbled control of the AFC West away last Monday night……. The Texans are good, but losing Mario Williams for the year and Andre Johnson for some time may hurt them in the long run…..The Jets have seemed to regress a little on defense, and Mark Sanchez not getting much help from his run game is an issue…..The Saints WERE in my “They are who we thought they were” column, but they lost to the Rams, The WINLESS ST. LOUIS RAMS, WITHOUT SAM BRADFORD! Yeah, they go down a notch after that one….. The Bucs have youth on their side, but their lopsided loss to San Francisco puts them in this category….. Atlanta always leaves me scratching my head at the end of their games. With all of the offensive weapons they have, I don’t see how they don’t put up 30 points easily, each week. They have some inexperience on defense that holds them to this category.

Ehhhhh……………..: Chicago Bears, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, Carolina Panthers, Tennessee Titans

It’s not that I don’t think these teams are good or can’t be good… it’s just that I couldn’t add them in the “They’re good but” category because they’ve done something not worthy of that category. The Bears’ offensive line blocks like Cutler stole their girl……The Eagles started out slow, and with the “Dream Team” talk prior to the season, expectations were above normal so their 3-4 record is underachieving at best… The Cowboys need a TV time out with the way they’ve played football lately. I thought they’d be better than this at this point. I haven;t totally written them off, tho. They have talent….. The Chiefs started off rough (remember Matt Cassel’s blow up with HC Todd Haley on the sidelines??), but they’ve rebounded well. It’s the AFC West so it’s hard to be impressed just yet…..The Raiders looked like they were gonna have a good season before Jason Campbell went down. Oakland traded their 2012 #1 pick and a conditional pick to Cincy for Carson Palmer, but all Palmer did was stink it up in his debut. He’s not the same QB he was before 2005 and quite frankly, I wonder if Al Davis came back from the dead to make one last WTF personnel decision… Despite Carolina’s record, I’m gonna put them in this column because I seriously believe they try hard each and every week, yet fall short. This team reminds me a lot of Buffalo’s team last season. They hang in there, but can’t get the “W” in the end. I can’t be mad at that. They should be added in my next group but I love their resilience. The Titans are here by default, because they have a good record. But Chris Johnson got paid and told the Titans, “Fcuk your couch”. He’s still holding out but we didn’t know until now. With Kenny Britt going down, that hurt big time for Tennessee. Good thing is, the AFC South could be a 2-man race, and they’re still in it.

“Insert Comment Here”: Cleveland Browns, Seattle Seahawks, Jacksonville Jaguars, Minnesota Vikings, Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins

Face it- these teams’ style of play are boring and uninspiring more times than not (minus the Vikings the past 2 weeks. But that’s because Ponder now has the keys). Put yourself in my shoes…. What could you possibly say about any of these teams individually that doesn’t sound like the others in this group? Can’t figure it out? Me neither. So feel free to insert your own comment here.

 

Bad…. Real Bad Michael Jackson: Indianapolis Colts, St. Louis Rams, Miami Dolphins, Denver Broncos

I guess this group could be called the “Suck For Luck” lottery, but that’s unoriginal and overused at this point. These 4 teams stink and I’d bet my money on LSU or Alabama if they played any of these teams at this point. Probably the worst team of them all is Indy. Never have I seen a franchise fall so fast from one key player going down. That’s a direct reflection of the GM and ownership and it’s inexcusable. The Rams have some good pieces and aren’t AS bad as Indy (not saying much), but their defense isn’t that good, particularly their secondary (although they did hold NO to one offensive TD in Sunday’s win) and there isn’t a true #1 WR on the team. The Dolphins need a new makeover, period. Not only did you celebrate the FLORIDA GATORS championship in MIAMI HURRICANES-land, you let Tim Tebow beat you in the Final 5 minutes of the same game. Yeah, you suck, Miami…….. Speaking of Tebow, he is getting KILT in the media (yeah, I said it… not killed, but KILT!) on what most of us already knew: Great college player, lots of heart and passion, not going to translate into the NFL. It’s been a while since I’ve seen so much attention lay on one guy like this. Denver officially came into the Top 5 pick race as of Sunday.

Titans WR Kenny Britt may or may not have been arrested last night in Hoboken, NJ. While Hoboken Police have yet to confirm or deny this story, Musiccitymiracles.com has found a court date listed for Britt for June 16th regarding a recent arrest.

According to their website, here are the details of the new arrest:

Britt, now of Brentwood, Tenn., was arrested last night at Willow Avenue and 15th Street by Hoboken narcotics officers and charged with two counts of resisting arrest, official said today.

Britt was issued a summons and ordered to appear on the charges at 1 p.m. on June 16 in Central Judicial Processing Court in Jersey City, according to court papers.

The complaint says Britt “did purposely prevent or attempt to prevent a public servant from lawfully performing an official function by means of force or violence, specifically by refusing to open your hand when ordered to do so then pulling your hand away.”

It goes on to say Britt is charged with using his body “to push away from the officers” and pulled away his arm “while not allowing the officers to handcuff” him.

One count is a disorderly persons offense but the second is a third-degree crime, which carries a possible sentence of 3 to 5 years in prison upon conviction.

Hoboken police have refused to release any information on the charges against Britt, and would not even confirm he was charged.

If Britt actually was arrested, this almost certainly means trouble whenever the NFL resumes business. Britt has been arrested in the past (5th arrest or investigation in 17 months) and just this past Tuesday, pleaded guilty to careless driving charges Tuesday in New Jersey and was fined $478 and had four points added to his Tennessee driver’s license. He needs to sit his azz down somewhere.

It’s a shame because Britt has a lot of talent, but can’t seem to stay out of trouble. On another note, the Titans sure do know how to pick them. Pacman Jones, Kenny Britt and if you want to add Vince Young in there for the sake of argument, you can. The Titans may part ways with Britt sooner than later, but they also need to re-evaluate their draft strategies.

This afternoon, former Ravens K Matt Stover will sit at his press conference at The Castle in Owings Mills, MD and tell owner Steve Bisciotti, GM Ozzie Newsome and head coach John Harbaugh that he’s hanging up his cleats after 20 years in the NFL. One of the original Browns that came to Baltimore when the team moved in 1996, Stover played during the Ravens first 13 years before going to the Colts in 2009. And when the show is all over, Stover will walk out of  The Castle a Ravens Legend.

Yeah…. I said it. A LEGEND! I know when you think of the Ravens, you think of guys like Ray Lewis, Ed Reed or even Jonathan Ogden, who retired himself a couple of years ago. But to the fans in Baltimore, Matt Stover goes down as a legend, and it’s without question.

Kickers usually don’t get a lot of fanfare (unless they screw up, then you remember all kinds of things about them), but Stover was special here. He was a class act who carried this team time and time again, most notably during the 2000 Super Bowl season. It’s easy to forget how awful the offense was because the defense was so great, one of the best defensive teams ever. But the 5-game drought without an offensive TD was horrible to watch…. HORRIBLE to witness and gut wrenching to experience. But “Automatic Matt” was there to save the day. While the defense stopped opposing offenses in their tracks, Stover WAS the Ravens offense that year. Without Stover’s leg, the Ravens don’t make it to the Super Bowl.

Stover had tons of important kicks during his tenure in Baltimore, but his final heroics came during his final year with the Ravens, in 2008. During the divisional playoff game against the Titans, Stover nailed a 43-yard attempt with 53 seconds remaining, to put the Ravens up 13-10.

That ended up being the final score that sent the Ravens to the AFC Championship game. Many said that Stover had lost his leg that year, but when the time came, he delivered big time.

Stover was an awesome kicker, a great person and the pivotal reason why the Ravens were 2000 Super Bowl Champs. For that, myself and tons of other Ravens fans thank him.

When he walks out of The Castle today, Matt Stover will walk out a Ravens Legend. And THAT, my friends, is a fact.

Titans fans saw a full page ad in the Tennessean taken out by former coach Jeff Fisher, who recently parted  ways with the organization.

In a statement, Fisher thanks the fans for the commitment and support over the years and thanks them for the great memories.

I always believed Fisher was a classy guy and this proves it. Hopefully he takes this year off to vaca or do some analyst stuff, and reboot for a new gig for 2012.

I don’t think there’s any doubt that the NFL is America’s sport of choice. Anytime the Pro Bowl had numbers that competed with the MLB World Series, you know that football is king in the USA. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that while the people love the NFL, they also hate some who represent them just as much.

According to a survey done by E-Poll Market Research, 6 of the Top 10 Most Disliked Sports Figures come from… you guessed it… the NFL. Topping this year’s list was none other than Skeletor, AKA Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. here are the 6 guys chosen to be hated by America (or at the very least, the people that were surveyed).

1. Al Davis

Why do folks dislike a guy that looks like he died 7 years ago???

2. Michael Vick

The guy did his time and even revived his football career. Can a brotha breathe???

3. Jerry Jones

I don’t care what people say about JJ, Jerry’s World is AWESOME! Y’all some haters!

6. Terrell Owens

Well………………………………

7. Albert Haynesworth

Fat Albert has made it impossible to like him during his tenure in DC

10. Randy Moss

*wonders how many Vikings and Titans fans participated in this survey*

Click here to see who else made the list.

Honorable Un-Mentions: Brett Favre and Ben Roethlisberger. Gotta love fans of the NFL!

Happy New Year, boys and girls!!! And then there were 12.  The regular season is over but the playoffs are just beginning. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to see the best of the best (minus the Seahawks) get ready to slug it out to see who’s gonna hold the Lombardi trophy this February. It’s a melancholy feeling, because it’s only about 4 weeks of football left, which immediately makes me sad. But then I have to remind myself that my team is in the dance.

So back to Happy Happy Joy Joy Land I go! It’s also Black Monday and by the looks of the head coaches fired in-season (4 of them, to be exact), I expect a big turnover and flip flopping of coaches to take place this week. So coaches on the chopping block, you better hide your kids, hide your wives and hide your bank accounts.. cause they firing everybody out here!

As a Ravens fan, I’m glad we’re 12-4 and in the playoffs. But I’d be lying if I told you I was confident going into Wild Card Weekend. The football gods gave us a pass and re-routed us to KC instead of Indy, who the Ravens haven’t beaten in a LOOOOOOONG time. But this team scares me. They’ve looked lost at times this season and have played along with their opponent. They took New England all the way to OT but they also did the same with the Buffalo Bills. I have no idea what team will show up come Sunday. But if it’s the team that played yesterday against the Bengals, then my squad is in trouble!!!

Brett Favre says he’s finally done with his career…. I say…..

The Raiders have become the ONLY team since the 1970 merger to sweep their division and NOT make the playoffs. On one side, you know that Oakland has something to build on for 2011 and beyond. On the other side, how can you be so awesome against your own division, but be 2-8 against everybody else? Oakland is on the rise… but they have a ways to go to get there.

Shout out to the Detroit Lions for going into the offseason with a 4-game winning streak. 6-10 is a hell of a lot better than 0-16. Baby steps, Detroit… baby steps.

S/O to the NFC West for the highway robbery of a playoff spot. Your whole division sucks, and your 7-9 NFC West champs in the Seahawks get to host a playoff game. I hope New Orleans beats you into Mortal Kombat submission as a reminder to why the NFL needs to tweak the current playoff system.

S/O to Kerry Collins for passing Johnny Unitas for passing yards all-time (11th). No, I’m serious… He did!

As for your fumble late in the 4th quarter that would’ve given you the win against Indy…..

S/O to my boo, Philip Rivers.. for just being YOU! You always have a fan in me. I’m just glad we don’t have to play you in the postseason.

If you’re Tampa Bay or the New York Giants and their fans, you’re sick as hell right now…. But at least you ended on a good note, right?!?! I’m not helping am I??? Okay, I’ll shut up now……………