Tag Archives: Minnesota Vikings

NFL Mid-Season Report Cards, The NFL Chick Edition

It’s amazing how time flies. We’re already beginning the 2nd half of our beloved NFL season,  So of course, it’s time to see how your favorite team fared midway through the 2011 season. Only, instead of giving actual grades, I’m breaking them up in categories. Same analysis as ESPN, but better because it’s not so formal. So without further ado…. the midseason report cards.


F*ck It, I’m On One!: Green Bay Packers

The Packers deserve a column of their own. As far as NFL class goes, there’s the Packers and then there’s everyone else. No one is touching them right now and to be honest, I don’t know who will. Aaron Rodgers is playing like he’s possessed right about now. I like Green Bay but the little hater in me says they need to sit their bragging asses down somewhere. No reason why I feel that way, I’m just a little green and tired of seeing them win.

They Are Who We Thought They Were:  Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots

The Steelers started out old and slow, but they’ve finally got the ball rolling. They’ve been on fire the past few weeks, and have picked up from last season, thanks to the emergence of guys like Mike Wallace and Emmanuel Sanders. The Patriots make this list because they’re still a team of concern if they’re on your schedule, but they can’t stop a nose bleed (Bart Scott voice) so unless they figure out to stop good teams, they may be in trouble….

Well I’ll Be John Brown (c/o @DragonflyJonez): Cincinnati Bengals, San Francisco 49ers, Detroit Lions, Buffalo Bills

I dedicate this category to my Twitter buddy, who always uses this term at the right time and better than anybody I know. Most of us looked at contenders for 2011 and didn’t think about any of these teams, for a lot of reasons. New players, lockout hangover, inconsistent or not good in years past…. for whatever reason, unless you were a fan of these teams, they simply weren’t on your radar. Well I’ll be John Brown if they aren’t now. The Bengals are 5-2 with a Top 5 defense and have shown success with Andy Dalton and AJ Green. The 49ers changed their coaching staff and brought in Jim Harbaugh and have only lost one game so far, even giving Alex Smith some life. And the Bills, who had every bounce against them in 2010 despite playing hard, are finally getting the ball in their court. The Lions are probably the least bit shocking, since they finished 2010 strong. But it’s the Lions…. you still haven’t forgotten about 0-16 and Matt Stafford gets hurt if you blow on him hard enough. Alas, no bad karma and all teams are doing big things

They’re Good, BUT……..: Baltimore Ravens, New York Giants, San Diego Chargers, Houston Texans, New York Jets, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Atlanta Falcons 

These teams have a winning record so they’re good based on record but we really have no idea what to expect for the 2nd half of the season. The Ravens have beaten quality opponents in Pittsburgh, Houston and the Jets, but have crapped the pot against teams they should have beaten in Tennessee and Jacksonville…… The Giants are decent, but their schedule the next 6 weeks is beyond brutal and one has to wonder will the injuries they have finally start to catch up….. The Chargers are actually starting out with a winning record for once, but QB Philip Rivers (my boo!) hasn’t looked like the Rivers of old, and fumbled control of the AFC West away last Monday night……. The Texans are good, but losing Mario Williams for the year and Andre Johnson for some time may hurt them in the long run…..The Jets have seemed to regress a little on defense, and Mark Sanchez not getting much help from his run game is an issue…..The Saints WERE in my “They are who we thought they were” column, but they lost to the Rams, The WINLESS ST. LOUIS RAMS, WITHOUT SAM BRADFORD! Yeah, they go down a notch after that one….. The Bucs have youth on their side, but their lopsided loss to San Francisco puts them in this category….. Atlanta always leaves me scratching my head at the end of their games. With all of the offensive weapons they have, I don’t see how they don’t put up 30 points easily, each week. They have some inexperience on defense that holds them to this category.

Ehhhhh……………..: Chicago Bears, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, Carolina Panthers, Tennessee Titans

It’s not that I don’t think these teams are good or can’t be good… it’s just that I couldn’t add them in the “They’re good but” category because they’ve done something not worthy of that category. The Bears’ offensive line blocks like Cutler stole their girl……The Eagles started out slow, and with the “Dream Team” talk prior to the season, expectations were above normal so their 3-4 record is underachieving at best… The Cowboys need a TV time out with the way they’ve played football lately. I thought they’d be better than this at this point. I haven;t totally written them off, tho. They have talent….. The Chiefs started off rough (remember Matt Cassel’s blow up with HC Todd Haley on the sidelines??), but they’ve rebounded well. It’s the AFC West so it’s hard to be impressed just yet…..The Raiders looked like they were gonna have a good season before Jason Campbell went down. Oakland traded their 2012 #1 pick and a conditional pick to Cincy for Carson Palmer, but all Palmer did was stink it up in his debut. He’s not the same QB he was before 2005 and quite frankly, I wonder if Al Davis came back from the dead to make one last WTF personnel decision… Despite Carolina’s record, I’m gonna put them in this column because I seriously believe they try hard each and every week, yet fall short. This team reminds me a lot of Buffalo’s team last season. They hang in there, but can’t get the “W” in the end. I can’t be mad at that. They should be added in my next group but I love their resilience. The Titans are here by default, because they have a good record. But Chris Johnson got paid and told the Titans, “Fcuk your couch”. He’s still holding out but we didn’t know until now. With Kenny Britt going down, that hurt big time for Tennessee. Good thing is, the AFC South could be a 2-man race, and they’re still in it.

“Insert Comment Here”: Cleveland Browns, Seattle Seahawks, Jacksonville Jaguars, Minnesota Vikings, Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins

Face it- these teams’ style of play are boring and uninspiring more times than not (minus the Vikings the past 2 weeks. But that’s because Ponder now has the keys). Put yourself in my shoes…. What could you possibly say about any of these teams individually that doesn’t sound like the others in this group? Can’t figure it out? Me neither. So feel free to insert your own comment here.


Bad…. Real Bad Michael Jackson: Indianapolis Colts, St. Louis Rams, Miami Dolphins, Denver Broncos

I guess this group could be called the “Suck For Luck” lottery, but that’s unoriginal and overused at this point. These 4 teams stink and I’d bet my money on LSU or Alabama if they played any of these teams at this point. Probably the worst team of them all is Indy. Never have I seen a franchise fall so fast from one key player going down. That’s a direct reflection of the GM and ownership and it’s inexcusable. The Rams have some good pieces and aren’t AS bad as Indy (not saying much), but their defense isn’t that good, particularly their secondary (although they did hold NO to one offensive TD in Sunday’s win) and there isn’t a true #1 WR on the team. The Dolphins need a new makeover, period. Not only did you celebrate the FLORIDA GATORS championship in MIAMI HURRICANES-land, you let Tim Tebow beat you in the Final 5 minutes of the same game. Yeah, you suck, Miami…….. Speaking of Tebow, he is getting KILT in the media (yeah, I said it… not killed, but KILT!) on what most of us already knew: Great college player, lots of heart and passion, not going to translate into the NFL. It’s been a while since I’ve seen so much attention lay on one guy like this. Denver officially came into the Top 5 pick race as of Sunday.

Chris Kluwe Has A Twitter Toast For The Douchebags

Who is Chris Kluwe, you ask? Oh, just the punter for the Minnesota Vikings. Kluwe isn’t too happy with Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Logan Mankins and Vincent Jackson, all whom are listed on the antitrust case. It was reported earlier that Mankins and Jackson may demand free agency or $10 million payout in exchange for their signature to settle the case. Manning and Brees later came into play because they would like to be exempt fully from the franchise tag.

Enters Chris Kluwe, who took his frustration to Twitter to express his feelings about their actions:

Who knew that punters were so fiery!

If this info is true, I’m with Kluwe all the way. These guys need to sit down and stop trying to look out for self. Four guys shouldn’t hold up what 1900 men represent and want, which is to play football. The fact that Kluwe spoke about it in his Kanye-esque tweet shows that guys want the lockout to end and football to be back. I’m holding my glass up, too, Chris Kluwe. Let’s have a toast for the douchebags!

Six NFL Figures On Top 10 Most Disliked In Sports List

I don’t think there’s any doubt that the NFL is America’s sport of choice. Anytime the Pro Bowl had numbers that competed with the MLB World Series, you know that football is king in the USA. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that while the people love the NFL, they also hate some who represent them just as much.

According to a survey done by E-Poll Market Research, 6 of the Top 10 Most Disliked Sports Figures come from… you guessed it… the NFL. Topping this year’s list was none other than Skeletor, AKA Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. here are the 6 guys chosen to be hated by America (or at the very least, the people that were surveyed).

1. Al Davis

Why do folks dislike a guy that looks like he died 7 years ago???

2. Michael Vick

The guy did his time and even revived his football career. Can a brotha breathe???

3. Jerry Jones

I don’t care what people say about JJ, Jerry’s World is AWESOME! Y’all some haters!

6. Terrell Owens


7. Albert Haynesworth

Fat Albert has made it impossible to like him during his tenure in DC

10. Randy Moss

*wonders how many Vikings and Titans fans participated in this survey*

Click here to see who else made the list.

Honorable Un-Mentions: Brett Favre and Ben Roethlisberger. Gotta love fans of the NFL!

Tuesday Roundup- Week 15

If you missed last night’s Monday Night football game with the Vikings and the Bears, then you missed quite a bit. You missed Brett Favre making an unexpected return back on the field, a week after ending his 297 consecutive game streak. You missed the snowballs being thrown by the fans after the Vikings went up 7-0, early in the 1st quarter. You missed the Bears totally taking over the game after that. And you missed Favre’s head making an ugly connection with a cold, hard ground at TCF Bank Stadium. I’m sure this is common knowledge at this point, but I’ll go ahead and say it anyway: Last night was probably the last we’ve seen of Old Man Favre. Time for the Vikings to put him on IR, let him enjoy being Pop Pop for Christmas with his family, and start thinking about how many Wranglers he’s gonna sell from now on.

In addition to Favre calling it a career, the Vikings have called it a season. With the exception of Jared Allen, it seems they pretty much hung it up early, allowing Chicago to score 27 unanswered points before deciding to be a part of the game again. But the highlight of the night was Devin Hester’s 64-yard punt return for a TD.

Hester is now in the record books, as he set the NFL record with his 14th kick return touchdown. Why teams continue to kick to Hester or DeSean Jackson is beyond me, I thought we all knew by now how awesome they are on special teams.

In other news, The Chargers are thinking of putting the franchise tag on WR Vincent Jackson, Terrell Owens is done for the year with a knee injury while the Bengals said they likely won’t bring him back for the 2011 season and Cowboys QB Tony Romo may be put on IR for his shoulder injury. This just in, it’s TUESDAY and it’s 4 days until Christmas! Who the hell didn’t see any of this coming… seriously?!?!?!

And finally, I found a pretty cool video of Patriots RB and rising star Danny Woodhead, pretending to be a Modell’s employee. Woodhead is there for an hour, trying to sell his own merchandise. Some of the responses are pretty funny. But overall he sold 14 Woodhead items while he was on his “shift”. Pretty impressive for a guy that no one knew about until 2 months ago!

Week 14 Recap And Thoughts

If you had to choose one team that is playing their best football right now, who would you choose? I’m sure some would say Philly, others would say Atlanta. And while they are playing at a high level, no one…. And I mean NO ONE… Is playing better than the New England Patriots right now. The Pats have beat the breaks off of playoff contenders such as the Steelers, the Jets and now the Bears… In a way that no one else has beat those teams all year. The Patriots are in a zone and right now I think the only one who can take them out of it are themselves. It’s kinda scary…….

OT: That’s the Jay Cutler we know! Welcome back!

Can someone tell me how Brodie Croyle is still on an NFL roster??? He’s 0-10 in his career as a starter, and he was AWFUL in yesterday’s game against the Chargers, throwing for 40 yards. FORTY yards, though?!?! Matt Cassel better hurry up and get back or the Chiefs are in big doo doo with the AFC West title on the line.

The Bengals are a sad group….. But Carson Palmer is sadder. It’s unfortunate to see a guy that once competed at such a high level, now look like a shell of his former self. The Bengals have a lot of QB soul searching to do at the end of the season… Because Palmer doesn’t look like the #1 guy they once relied on.

If ever there were a play to sum up the Redskins entire season, yesterday’s botched snap for the tying extra point against the Bucs summed it up. This team needs to seriously start thinking about the future and rebuilding. They’ve inked McNabb for a new deal, but there are so many holes that needs plugging on this team. In addition to the Fat Albert controversy, there are a lot of decisions to be made this offseason. The drama in the Nation’s Capital will be must-see TV in the weeks and months after the season is over.

Just when I thought Cleveland had a chance to finish 8-8 this season and that the Bills had maxed out on their wins for the season….. They flipped the script on me.

With all of the drama going on regarding the Giants-Vikings game (the snowstorm…the time change…the Metrodome roof caving in… The lack of drawls Giants players packed for their unscheduled extended trip…and the relocation to play in Detroit), somehow this Favre Watch has still found a way to stay relevant. I can’t wait for the season to be over so this guy can go away and disappear. My betting money says he’s playing for tonight’s rescheduled game, all for selfish reasons. Everyone wanted Brad Childress fired, but they don’t have anything to say regarding the Favre dilemma??? In my mind, this whole, “Will Favre Play?” mess every week is just as much a distraction as the Chilly situation. Sit this guy, see what Tavaris Jackson can do and be done with this foolishness.

Shout out to Jets coach Sal Alosi for being the douchebag of the week. Tripping a player from an opposing team and possibly injuring him is real classy, dude.

And speaking of the Jets, watching them yesterday makes me wonder if Mark Sanchez will ever be a good QB for his respected team.  Not because I don’t think he has the ability to be, but it looks to me that the Cali boy is not a cold weather QB. And in NY, where they are infamous for below freezing temps in the winter, I’m not sure how Sanchez will hold up in November and December. The announcer of yesterday’s Dolphins-Jets game said that the Jets have lost their swagger. Maybe so, but the first person I’m taking a look into is #6.

The Jaguars look like the real deal. Jack Del Rio should be thanking the football gods every night for the 53 men that may have possibly saved his job.

The Saints have won 6 in a row, how come no one is talking about them?

Even better question… Based on all of the grey going on Saints S Roman Harper’s hair, is it safe to assume he’s Favre’s age?? He sure as hell looked like it, especially when Sam Bradford caught up with him after a turnover.

The Packers need Aaron Rodgers back… BAD!!!

DeSean Jackson’s TD celebration was awesome… but it wasn’t excessive.

The league is doing too much. With all of the helmet-to-helmet hits and other calls that needs attention, why call this one? He was clearly having fun and should have been able to celebrate, he just beat the entire Cowboys defense for 91 yards and a score. If that’s not a reason to celebrate, then I dunno what is…….

Men have groupie moments, too! After last night’s game, Cowboys RB Tashard Choice asked Eagles QB Michael Vick for an autograph on some gloves, which Vick happily obliged.

Choice later said he was getting the autograph for his nephew. I think that’s a nice gesture. Michael Vick is a great player, and being a fan of the game is nothing to be ashamed or apologetic about. So what it was on the field… and after a loss.. and at home…..and to a division rival. But you get my point. Football players are football fans, too.

The NFL Twilight Zone

I was talking to my good friend and fellow Gridiron Gal Chels about the NFL recently, and we both agreed that the NFL has been a whirlwind of news since the day it kicked off, nearly 2 months ago. New rule changes, roster changes and just about any other kind of change imaginable has swarmed headlines non-stop. Let’s take a look at the top stories that’s led us to the Twilight Zone- NFL Style.

Dallas Cowboys Stinking Up The Joint

Someone give the Dallas Cowboys the heads up that their 2010 Super Bowl run started 8.5 weeks ago. Apparently, they didn’t get the memo. This was the year that a Super Bowl team was going to have home field advantage, as Super Bowl XLV will be played at the new Cowboys Stadium this year. Well, the Cowboys are a dismal 1-6 and currently LAST in the ultra-competitive NFC East. Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett are officially on lame duck status, Tony Romo is hurt and has since been replaced by Jon Kitna (who had 4 INTs last Sunday against the Jags) and the unofficial leader on this team is rookie Dez Bryant, not a veteran player. To say the Dallas Cowboys’ 2010 season is bizarre is being nice. They are a mess, and it doesn’t look too good for them for the rest of the season.

The Randy Moss Chronicles

First, Bill Belichick sends the future Hall-Of-Famer on his merry little way to Minnesota, in exchange for a 3rd round draft pick. Many folks thought the Patriots were crazy for letting him go, but New England hasn’t missed a beat since Moss has been gone, winning every game since the trade. Moss then goes to the Vikings does what he does best…. plays when he feels like it. Moss must not have been “feeling like” playing when he returned to New England, giving up on a couple key plays as the Patriots defeated the Vikings, 28-18. What happens next is very strange. Moss’s postgame press conference became a bit of a Patriots love fest, while telling the Vikings media he was going to ask and answer his own questions.

Well, Brad Childress wasn’t a big fan of the Belichick/Patriots love fest and sent Moss his walking papers, as he was officially waived yesterday. Someone explain this to me. Childress lets Moss go without a healthy Sidney Rice and a migraine-laden Percy Harvin?! What part of the game is this? That being said, is it the teams Moss played on, or is it simply Moss that’s the issue? You be the judge.

“Baby Brett” Put On Blast

Another headline, another Viking. Brett Favre allegedly likes to send pictures of his manhood, all while leaving simping messages on voice mails on his down time during the season. We all know the allegations about Favre and his “contact” with Jenn Sterger. But I think this is more ironic because I would expect to hear about this from a 20-something year-old Favre, not a 41-year old grandpa Favre. This is a guy that is a lock for the Hall Of Fame, but a lot of folks would be lying if they said they don’t look at Favre differently. I know I do, Favre needs to sit his old azz down somewhere.

McNabb Gets Benched…. AGAIN!!!!

Oh, Donovan…………when it rains, it pours. Let’s go back to 2008, when McNabb was benched by then-Eagles coach Andy Reid for Kevin Kolb at halftime during the Ravens game. Kolb came in and did NOTHING against the Ravens, as Ed Reed intercepted the ball for a record-breaking 108-yard interception for a TD.

Well, history has a way of repeating itself. At the end of the Redskins- Lions game, McNabb was benched AGAIN, this time by Mike Shanahan and for, wait for it………………………………… Rex Grossman. So how was Grossman filling in for McNabb? Let’s see, a fumble that led to a TD for the Lions, to seal their win over the Redskins. Afterward, fans heard every excuse about his benching, from Grossman knowing the 2-minute drill a little better than McNabb, to McNabb being out-of-shape. To make matters worse, the Redskins have brought in JaMarcus Russell for a try-out while Terrell Owens has added his 2 cents to the McNabb bash fest

This is by far, one of the most bizarre events in the league right now. But what’s more bizarre is McNabb’s silence in both situations. If I’m McNabb, I’m taking the gloves off right now. He took the high road in Philly when he was benched and later traded, but for Deja vu to occur 2 years later is enough. It’s time to start speaking up for yourself, Donovan. Put people in their place when it comes to how you play the game. Otherwise, you look real sheepish right now, like you have no fight in you. Basically, you look like a PUNK. And people will only do what you allow.

Eight weeks in, and already the NFL is in a Twilight Zone….. who knows what will happen next!

Tuesday Roundup- Week 7

Funeral services for the Dallas Cowboys’ 2010 season will be held on NFL Network on Saturday, October 30th at 11am. The repast will be held at Cowboys Stadium at the 50 yard line, where you can dump your ashes of previous 2010 games tickets to pay your respects.In case you ride the slow bus and have no clue as to what I mean…. Your season is pretty much over at this point! If you need help coping about your loss, turn to Ed The Sports Fan’s site where he gives us the Five Stages Of Grief when dealing with the Cowboys.

On another note: The G-Men are playing extremely well right now. After giving The Cowboys 2 gifts and 10 points early in the first quarter, the Giants found a rhythm and never looked back. My Gridiron Gal colleague @xtraRegularRyan won’t make me forget of all the times I picked against the Giants, starting from the pre-season when I picked them to finish 3rd in the NFC East. Hey, I only claim to be awesome, not always right.

And while the Cowboys lost last night, the football gods kept kicking them while they’re down. Tony Romo suffered a fractured left clavicle last night, which can have him out for at least 6 weeks.

I won’t lie, when Romo went down and laid there, I thought he was playing dead against a predator. That’s how laid out he was. I hope he has a speedy recovery for the sake of Cowboys fans. John Kitna isn’t a bad backup to have. But he’s a backup for a reason.

In addition to Romo going down, Brett Favre has 2 fractures in his ankle. While most players would certainly be ruled “out” to play, The Vikings are merely saying he MAY sit out.

What I miss?

Sit Favre’s old ass down somewhere. Y’all are gonna have Pop Pop killed before Week 12. He’s not 25-30 years old anymore. He’s a 41 year-old man. I don’t care about his 291 consecutive games streak. The madness needs to end today, until he’s better.

The league has come out and admitted that they had 2 TD errors in Sunday’s game against the Vikings. Both rulings were against the Vikings favor. The TD pass to Visanthe Shiancoe was overturned as an incomplete pass, but should have stayed as a TD. And the TD pass that Packers QB Aaron  Rodgers threw to TE Andrew Quarless should have been considered an incomplete pass. In other news, if you’re a Dolphins fan, you won’t get the apology you’re looking for. The refs have said they had NO apologies in the fumble recovery that went to the Steelers at the end of the game against Miami. Not sure what the purpose of Instant Replay is, if the refs still can’t get it right. But the authenticity of the game is on the line. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, pay these refs to be Full Time employees, not Part Time, and maybe… just maybe… they will be able to get it right because that’s their main job!

And finally, Rae Carruth is appealing his conviction of his murder-for-hire case against his girlfriend Cherica Adams, in which she was shot 4 times and later died after giving birth to their son in November, 1999. If you have any empathy for Carruth- even if it’s a smudge- take a look at this Sins Of A Father piece that ESPN did earlier this year. Just looking at his son and what he goes through from a physical and mental perspective, breaks my heart. I hope the courts show no mercy on him and make him finish his time, as he should.

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